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Hank "The Gun" Smith Movie/videogame idea

>Primary ideas:
the star athlete is Hank "The Gun" Smith. He's like the Lebron James of the sport. Young, handsome, athletic, and has the patented special move where he shoots the duck in mid-air while putting the gun under his leg and winking at the duck as he fires the kill shot and decapatates the duck. HD slow motion technology will be used to watch the duck go limp and fall to the ground while the crowd cheers. uzis, machine guns and all types of ammo including "cop killer" bullets are welcomed. the auditorium will be equipped with bullet proof glass."



"i like all of these ideas. what is hank "the gun" smith's ethnic background?

i say he is of inuit lineage, originally from alaska, who's parents migrated down into seattle during the 60's. his father had been a professional wrestler and part time alcoholic. he used to wrestle polar bears and other arctic mammals until one day when he met his match and had his head bitten off. after that things were rough for the smiths. his mother became a prostitute, she would service lumberjacks, asian businessmen and young disenchanted suburban grunge rockers looking for a quick thrill. these young troubled youth were the first people to introduce hank to heroin.

he developed quite the habit while running with this crowd. however, he found that of all things, the heroin actually helped improve his skills as marksman on the slopes as he was surprisingly able to focus on the kill when on the drug. he started to gain some name recognition on the local circuit around seattle in the late 80's before the sport burst into the mainstream. in addition to his virtuoso skills as trained killer of animals. he also was part of the legendary, now defunct band "sideburns of satan". while performing he was known to bring animal carcassses on stage and light them on fire before throwing them into the crowd. after the shows it was said that he used to search out the lucky females in the audience who managed to catch and hold on to the pieces of these deceased animals and he would invite them back to his hotel room and proceed to have sexual intercourse with as many as 50 of them in a night. the overdose of bassist jessup rigondeaux caused the band to break up after a short lived but prolific career.

at this point, hank decided to return to the sport that loved..."
Jonathan: we should a comic of hank
i need to find someone who can draw creatively
me: yea def
who can draw tho?
Jonathan: ask around, pitch the idea
me: we can use google pics as the art
Jonathan: ppl who are down will want to do it lol
hahaha yeah
and we can write our own captions
4:34 PM i don't know if that's done before
me: like photoshop google pics
it might be the new hottest shit
Jonathan: we can even cast ourselves as side characters haha
jk
that's unnecessary
but we can do whatever we want
i dont have photoshop though
4:35 PM me: pics can come from blades of glory. i think chaz micael michaels is basically hank personified
just have to photoshop him on skiis with guns
that should be ez enuf
that guy from east bound and down could work too
Jonathan: and with hookers and drug paraphenalia
me: i think chaz is funnier tho
4:36 PM yea there are already pix like that with chaz
he's an alcoholic sex addict
its his cross to bear
Jonathan: hank will basically be the combination of every funny character ever
4:37 PM me: and raised by indians
yea
i'm optimistic about it
could really be sick
4:38 PM Jonathan: raised by indians and wolves
4:39 PM me: the lone wolf
chaz michael michaels rides alone
lqtm
Jonathan: yeah, that can be his other nickname
he's got a huge tattoo of a wolf on his chest
4:40 PM me: we can start by making a facebook page
http://www.myspace.com/chazzmichaelmichaels
or myspace
Jonathan: helllll yeah!
genius
4:41 PM let's make a fb page for him
it has to be completely out of control though
nothing about it can be serious
it needs to be the most extreme weird shit
4:42 PM me: totals
4:43 PM Jonathan: ask around if u know anyone who can draw well
we need to bring him to life
first we'll photoshop him up though
4:44 PM there are many angles we can take
hank the sportsman
hank the drug addict
hank the musician
hank the womanizer
hank and his family
hank and animals
wildlife
4:45 PM hank and his interactions with minorities, specif blacks
4:46 PM me: hank the sex addict
and alcoholic
Jonathan: hank in school
me: dad having his head bit off by polar bears is great too
while wrestling
Jonathan: hank and the law
me: hank as a kid
4:47 PM hank in prison
Jonathan: we can make at least 5 movies
yeah dude
lqtm
me: hank in the army
Jonathan: hank in vietnam
me: lqtm
Jonathan: hank on dead tour
4:48 PM me: lqtm
or phish tour
we need to keep up with current events
Jonathan: hell yeah
we'll never run out of ideas
me: make fun of phish
Jonathan: it's genius
haha yeah
4:49 PM he beats up hippies and steals their drugs
not to sell but to take
me: yea
and passes out in the middle of shakedown st
runs on stage
Jonathan: naked
or just with a skinned animal cloth
4:50 PM save this convo

7 minutes

4:58 PM me: def
i could try doing some sketches
4:59 PM Jonathan: dooo it
make him as ridic as possible

- Show quoted text -

One from the vault

"I missed MAG/Gonzalez, after an all day bender at the Holiday Inn pool bar in Ocean City, MD. I ate some shrooms and passed out cold, woke up moments before Tyson/Hurricane. Before I collapsed we watched Dumb and Dumber. Jeff Daniels > Mike Tyson" - Anonymous poster, Maxboxing

Boxing is my favorite sport, as it has been for the better part of the past two plus decades.

There are about four or five single global mega events that stand out so distinctly in my memory that to this day I can still remember every exact detail about where I was and how I felt when they happened.

- The assassination of Yitzhak Rabin
- The bombing of the Oklahoma City federal building
- The death of Princess Di
- 9/11

and lastly when James "Buster" Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson, which happened 20 years ago this week. I was seven years old. For the ill informed, this was only the greatest upset in the history of sports. Colonel Bob Sheridan on the call.

Change you can believe in

After toiling in anonymity for quite some time, a general consensus has been reached. From now on, things will never be the same again.



Russian/Serbian female tennis players and American Apparel models will be given high priority, as will some of our favorite localized armed conflicts and their featured all stars.



And hipsters. We love them.

Cool movie ideas

A pixar version of Inglorious Basterds, or True Romance maybe.
Why do all pixar movies have to have family oriented plots? It makes me sick. Sorry if that offends anyone who likes pixar movies, i cant think of one pixar movie i really liked.

Knocked up part 2: the abortion.
Same plot as part 1 but the movie ends with an abortion and everyone lives happily ever after and the two would-be parents move on in their separate ways. Fast forward 10 years, they have advanced their careers and meet someone new and have kids with a better shot at success in life. why must we cater to religious people and whatever complaints they may have about abortion, while sacrificing realism and promoting negative behavior? Knocked up part 2 would be sending a positive message to the kids for chrissake, and helping society. single-parent homes are the biggest predictor of psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder. this is 2010, not 20 A.D., Obama is President (what a guy huh?), lets make a movie that tells the truth for once.

Post comments with other ideas for cool movies. Spielberg/Tarantino/Scorsese, if you're reading this and you use my ideas i want my 50%.

farces

• the 'genre' films of Mel Brooks (the quasi-western Blazing Saddles (1974), the quasi-horror film Young Frankenstein (1974), the inventive Hitchcock spoof/rip-off High Anxiety (1977), the Star Wars (1977) spoof Spaceballs (1987), and his swashbuckler send-up Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993))
• Herbert Ross' Play It Again, Sam (1972) poked fun at Woody Allen as an insecure nebbish-hero who worshipped an imaginary, trench-coated, archetypal tough-guy detective (a la Humphrey Bogart)
• Silver Streak (1976) - a comic thriller parody of Alfred Hitchcock's 'train' pictures, with Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor (their best film together) onboard the Silver Streak from LA to Chicago
• Neil Simon's scripts for The Cheap Detective (1978) and Murder By Death (1978) spoofed Agatha Christie detective films
• Jim Abrahams' and the Zuckers' revolutionary comedy Airplane! (1980) - a sophomoric parody of the earlier disaster series of Airport (1970) films and the original Zero Hour (1957); their The Naked Gun (1988) series parodied TV cop shows, and Top Secret! (1984) ridiculed Cold War agents and espionage spy films (and Elvis Presley films); Abrahams' military comedy Hot Shots! (1991) was a genre parody/spoof of Top Gun (1986), while Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) parodied Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
  
• in The Freshman (1990), Marlon Brando (as Carmine Sabatini) poked fun - with brilliant parody - at his own characterization of Don Corleone in The Godfather (1972)
• Carl Reiner's Fatal Instinct (1993) spoofed suspense thrillers and murder mysteries such as Basic Instinct (1992)
• Gene Quintano's Loaded Weapon I (1993) made fun of Lethal Weapon (1987) as well as The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Basic Instinct (1992), and Wayne's World (1992)
• the Austin Powers films (1997, 1999, 2002) - parodies of the James Bond 007 films
• the Scream films (1996, 1997, 2000) - spoofs of slasher horror films
• Barry Sonnenfeld's Men in Black (1997) - a sci-fi comedy farce based on a comic book series that poked fun at alien invasion films, with Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith as government agents (with camaraderie similar to Mel Gibson and Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon series) battling about 1500 Earth-dwelling, other-worldly extra-terrestrials in the New York area; a sequel appeared in 2002
• Galaxy Quest (1999), about the cast (including Tim Allen, Alan Rickman, and Sigourney Weaver) of a 70s sci-fi TV series in reruns, this was a parody of sci-fi TV, Star Trek itself, and cultish "Trekkie" activities
• director Nora Ephron's romantic comedy You've Got Mail (1998) updated and paid homage to Ernst Lubitsch's classic The Shop Around the Corner (1940), with leads Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in their third teaming (after their previous hit with Ephron - Sleepless in Seattle (1993)), replacing James Stewart and Margaret Sullavan as feuding-by-email Manhattan bookstore owners
• Last Action Hero (1993) - a spoof of action films

Puns

	I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
	Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
	I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
	There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
	A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
	It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
	He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
	Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
	It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
	There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.