One from the vault

"I missed MAG/Gonzalez, after an all day bender at the Holiday Inn pool bar in Ocean City, MD. I ate some shrooms and passed out cold, woke up moments before Tyson/Hurricane. Before I collapsed we watched Dumb and Dumber. Jeff Daniels > Mike Tyson" - Anonymous poster, Maxboxing

Boxing is my favorite sport, as it has been for the better part of the past two plus decades.

There are about four or five single global mega events that stand out so distinctly in my memory that to this day I can still remember every exact detail about where I was and how I felt when they happened.

- The assassination of Yitzhak Rabin
- The bombing of the Oklahoma City federal building
- The death of Princess Di
- 9/11

and lastly when James "Buster" Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson, which happened 20 years ago this week. I was seven years old. For the ill informed, this was only the greatest upset in the history of sports. Colonel Bob Sheridan on the call.

Change you can believe in

After toiling in anonymity for quite some time, a general consensus has been reached. From now on, things will never be the same again.



Russian/Serbian female tennis players and American Apparel models will be given high priority, as will some of our favorite localized armed conflicts and their featured all stars.



And hipsters. We love them.

Cool movie ideas

A pixar version of Inglorious Basterds, or True Romance maybe.
Why do all pixar movies have to have family oriented plots? It makes me sick. Sorry if that offends anyone who likes pixar movies, i cant think of one pixar movie i really liked.

Knocked up part 2: the abortion.
Same plot as part 1 but the movie ends with an abortion and everyone lives happily ever after and the two would-be parents move on in their separate ways. Fast forward 10 years, they have advanced their careers and meet someone new and have kids with a better shot at success in life. why must we cater to religious people and whatever complaints they may have about abortion, while sacrificing realism and promoting negative behavior? Knocked up part 2 would be sending a positive message to the kids for chrissake, and helping society. single-parent homes are the biggest predictor of psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder. this is 2010, not 20 A.D., Obama is President (what a guy huh?), lets make a movie that tells the truth for once.

Post comments with other ideas for cool movies. Spielberg/Tarantino/Scorsese, if you're reading this and you use my ideas i want my 50%.

farces

• the 'genre' films of Mel Brooks (the quasi-western Blazing Saddles (1974), the quasi-horror film Young Frankenstein (1974), the inventive Hitchcock spoof/rip-off High Anxiety (1977), the Star Wars (1977) spoof Spaceballs (1987), and his swashbuckler send-up Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993))
• Herbert Ross' Play It Again, Sam (1972) poked fun at Woody Allen as an insecure nebbish-hero who worshipped an imaginary, trench-coated, archetypal tough-guy detective (a la Humphrey Bogart)
• Silver Streak (1976) - a comic thriller parody of Alfred Hitchcock's 'train' pictures, with Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor (their best film together) onboard the Silver Streak from LA to Chicago
• Neil Simon's scripts for The Cheap Detective (1978) and Murder By Death (1978) spoofed Agatha Christie detective films
• Jim Abrahams' and the Zuckers' revolutionary comedy Airplane! (1980) - a sophomoric parody of the earlier disaster series of Airport (1970) films and the original Zero Hour (1957); their The Naked Gun (1988) series parodied TV cop shows, and Top Secret! (1984) ridiculed Cold War agents and espionage spy films (and Elvis Presley films); Abrahams' military comedy Hot Shots! (1991) was a genre parody/spoof of Top Gun (1986), while Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) parodied Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
  
• in The Freshman (1990), Marlon Brando (as Carmine Sabatini) poked fun - with brilliant parody - at his own characterization of Don Corleone in The Godfather (1972)
• Carl Reiner's Fatal Instinct (1993) spoofed suspense thrillers and murder mysteries such as Basic Instinct (1992)
• Gene Quintano's Loaded Weapon I (1993) made fun of Lethal Weapon (1987) as well as The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Basic Instinct (1992), and Wayne's World (1992)
• the Austin Powers films (1997, 1999, 2002) - parodies of the James Bond 007 films
• the Scream films (1996, 1997, 2000) - spoofs of slasher horror films
• Barry Sonnenfeld's Men in Black (1997) - a sci-fi comedy farce based on a comic book series that poked fun at alien invasion films, with Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith as government agents (with camaraderie similar to Mel Gibson and Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon series) battling about 1500 Earth-dwelling, other-worldly extra-terrestrials in the New York area; a sequel appeared in 2002
• Galaxy Quest (1999), about the cast (including Tim Allen, Alan Rickman, and Sigourney Weaver) of a 70s sci-fi TV series in reruns, this was a parody of sci-fi TV, Star Trek itself, and cultish "Trekkie" activities
• director Nora Ephron's romantic comedy You've Got Mail (1998) updated and paid homage to Ernst Lubitsch's classic The Shop Around the Corner (1940), with leads Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in their third teaming (after their previous hit with Ephron - Sleepless in Seattle (1993)), replacing James Stewart and Margaret Sullavan as feuding-by-email Manhattan bookstore owners
• Last Action Hero (1993) - a spoof of action films

Puns

	I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
	Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
	I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
	There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
	A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
	It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
	He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
	Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
	It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
	There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.